3 - The Red Castle

                "What is your first vivid memory?"

                One can say that the first memory of a child will be the time they will first open their eyes to the world. But contrary to this, the first memory a child will really have will be the first thing that will cause them a powerful emotion. It can either be e feeling of pure happiness, embarrassment and in my case, fear. This memory can affect the child as he or she grows up. The first memory I really remember was truly terrifying. I mean, who would want to be unable to escape a giant maze and get lost in it? No one will, specially not a 2 year old girl.

                I can't remember the date exactly when it happened but I can recall my mom waking me up at 8 in the morning saying we would go to some place that was a bit far from home. I can't recall if it was Alabang or another place near there, but I do remember travelling by my dad's white car for a very long time. I fell asleep during the car ride like any 2 year old would, and when I woke up we were already at the place mom said. It was a big building, gigantic for a child, and inside was just as big. There was a giant playground with this red plastic castle and big and long slides around it. It also had this neat place where the kids will be able to jump as much as they can. There was this swing at the top of the castle like playground. There were kids all around the place, playing and laughing happily. But even though it seemed like a wonderful place for a kid at that age, for my eyes as a two year old kid, it had this red aura around it, a passionate aura that can give you true happiness at the same time get it from you violently.

                My parents made me go in that castle. As I got in it, climbing up to the top wanting to try out the swing first, all I could see was red. Red everywhere I looked. Red above, bellow, left, right, upfront, and behind. Not wanting to stay in the red place anymore, I continued to move forward, crawling to the top. Once I got out and saw the swing, and I could see the other colors however small it may seem, I smiled and ran to the swing. I didn't look down as I swung to the other side of the castle. As I got down from it, I laughed happily and ran around till I got to the slide. I continued to play and go further inside the castle. For a child to be able to feel free and enjoy all the things that surrounds you, I forgot all about that red aura and just played. played until my heart's content.

                This spell on my mind, the thing that blinded my eyes, was broken by my mom calling out my name. Still hazy from the spell, I looked through the window and saw my mom smiling and telling me to get back down so that we could eat. When I saw her, it seemed like the red aura was thicker than I remembered. It was all around me, suffocating my and filling up my line of sight so that all I would see was red. Wanting the warm embrace of my mother and the caring face of my father, I looked for the exit to the castle. But I couldn't see and remember where to go. Everything was red, I can only see my parents through that small circular window. I ran frantically in any direction, tears running down my face, but I just always ended up by the same circular window. Then I screamed.

                I can't remember what happened next, or how I got out of the red castle, but I do remember that I got out of it and in the end, got to eat with my parents by my side. There was no more red since then, even though the castle was just behind us. It always stayed there, behind me, behind my mind as I grew up. And because of that castle, I realized that I just can't live without my family. Never will I go back to the red place again, I shall stay by this warm bright place I call my family.

Introduction

                   I'm Maria Vanessa V. Irineo of ABMA123 from Asia Pacific College. In truth, i really do not know what to write in this introduction to my blog since i still don't know what are the things I'll be posting here. But what I do now is that I am not very good with writing formally so most of the time my posts will be informal.

                   Since I can't introduce something I don't know yet, I shall instead introduce myself so you can get to know me better.

                  First of all, you might be wondering what the title says and how is it relevant to me. Well, it is Japanese for "The Blog of the Silent" or something along those lines. The reason for this is that I am a silent person. I'm more of an observer than a player in the field. And of course, i write or draw the things I see. I speak out not through my voice that much, but I speak out by my words on paper or computer and through my art.

                   You already know my name and block so let's start of with my course. I'm taking Multimedia Arts right now. I'm a freshman and in my third term already. I graduated from Casa del Bambino Emmanuel Montessori at Batangas City. I am currently staying at the dormitory of my college. The things I love to do during my spare time are drawing, playing my guitar, watching anime, reading mangas and books and writing my own stories and poems. Now that I mentioned it, maybe after sometime I'll be posting some of my works at this site. Some formal ones too, though I am not really good with it. I also like to voice out some opinions in things I have read and seen. So maybe I will be posting some reviews of those too. 

                    Well that is all for now. Introductions are meant to be short anyways so I won't hold you on to reading more of this introduction.

                     Hope you have fun in reading and browsing my blog.

2 - Senior's Pleas

              " In Britain, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who should be responsible for our old people? Give reasons."

               Time is a double edged sword. As time continues to run and tick by, you will gain more experience and knowledge. But at the same time you grow into something less. At a point in time, your body will stop growing to be healthier than before and instead you will just grow old. And like the first time you came to this world, you will have to be taken cared of once again. You might need some help in dressing up, eating or taking a bath. Then let me ask you something, who would you want to take care of you?

 

              There are different and many types of people out there that can take care of the old. And in the Philippines, the family of the senior citizen is the one that is doing this job, commonly. And why not? Having their own families taking care of them has a personal touch to it. Since the old people were the ones to take care of them first, It is only right to give this care back to them by the very person they took care of. Senior citizens are very emotional and sentimental since they can feel that time really is passing by. Having this feeling, they would want all their hardships remembered and thanked for. That they are and will always be loved. And no one else can give it them except their own family.

              In addition, if you put the senior citizens in the shelters funded by the government, can you really guarantee their safety and happiness there? Worrying for someone that has been playing a huge role in one's life is a natural human trait. It can't be helped if you worry if those who took care of you are being cared of by those you trusted them with. Are they being fed with proper and delicious food? Are they sleeping well? Are they sick right now? What are they doing right now? These questions will constantly appear  on your mind. Why not save the trouble and stress these questions will bring you and just look after them yourself?

              Some would say that it is more convenient to just let them live in the shelters. They will have free food, cared for by nurses, and it may be funded by the government.  However, in light of the news broadcast-ed these days can we really be confident in honest charity? In these days that money has a big part in how people take actions, can we really be trusting that the shelters are getting a fair amount to sustain them? Yes, there are honest people who are really sincere in their charity, but is it enough? Will you rather leave those you love into the hands of uncertain people that say they really love them? Can they truly love and help your seniors the way you can? Will a house that can easily be taken by the government themselves be better for them or is it your home that is safe and warm that is the best for them?

               In the end, time is still the enemy you will be facing. You can give in and let your seniors spend it in the shelters or you can treasure time and take care of them yourself. Both will have their perks and down sides. Sometimes, you will feel the push to love and thank them, other times you will feel the hardships of doing it. It up to you whether you will challenge time and all the things it will throw at you and cherish them. Just don't leave any regrets behind. 

1 - Fearful Daydream

"Describe a time when you really felt fear. What made it a frightening time? How did you feel when it was over?  (If you have never been afraid, what might frighten you?)"

               Have you ever encountered a really good story that at a time, you dreamt that you were the main character of it? Maybe a fantasy story about fairy tale creatures existing on earth, a mystery and thrilling adventure, or even a story that can really happen in real life. I am not only specifying that the stories should be written and read, it can even be watched and heard. I admit, I too do that often times when I read great books. One book in particular was the first book of the Night World series by L.J. Smith. The book was a compilation of short stories off one world. It was about the creatures of the night, particularly vampires, were wolves, and witches. The one that captured my attention the most was the first story. It was about a human girl who suddenly discovered she had cancer and it was already in an incurable level. Her handsome best friend who coincidentally was a vampire, told her about the world of the night creatures and they decided that the girl still has to live her life longer on earth thus; he turned her into a vampire. I always imagined that that I was the girl. I'll find out about my illness then discover a world unknown to human beings and be one with that world. Wouldn't it be exciting to experience that? That was my thought at the time, oh how wrong that line of thought was.

               During a silent, cold dark night I was awoken from my peaceful slumber by a hair curling pain from my abdomen. The pain was like none I have ever felt before and slowly, tears started to flow down from my eyes. The pain was so much that I couldn't even utter any coherent word and the only sounds coming from my mouth were my silent cries. I would not be able to tell you how long the pain lasted or when I lost consciousness from the pain but the only thing I can tell you is that when I woke up the next day, the pain was gone and I was healthy as I was the previous day.

               Months passed by in a blur after that. The next incident it had happened was much worst and kind of disturbing. Coincidentally, it was also a cold and dark day when I experienced the pain for the next time around. Ironically, it was during my summer classes, days in which it should have been hot and bright. But instead of the day being hot, it was my insides that felt like it was being warmed by the sun directly. This time, I didn't bother holding in my cries of pain even though I was in the middle of a class. The teacher and my classmates of course looked at me worriedly, some even panicked. Everyone was asking me what was wrong but I couldn't answer them properly. The words I was only able to say were stomach, ache and vomit. Not too long after saying the word vomit, I ran to the nearest trash bin and vomited my breakfast. I cried and cried after that and my teacher sent me home, contacting my parents.  At first, they all said it will pass and like the first time, the next day I felt like the previous day hadn't happened.

               As time passed by, I felt the pain randomly. Sometimes it would be during the night, sometimes during the day, a weekend or a holiday or even a normal day. What aroused my panic was that it would last longer than the previous time I have felt it. From feeling it for only a day, it became days, eventually it became weeks. Each time I would vomit and won't have any appetite to eat. What scared me the most was that all the things I was feeling were the symptoms of the character from the book I read from months past, the book of the world of the night creatures, Night World. The main character had stomach pains, she vomited and the pains were all unbearable. Above all, we would sometime just lose consciousness in the middle of the pain. Ironic, I know, since I even put myself in her shoes before and now that I am really experiencing it I am so scared out of my mind. The worst part of it all was that my parents, my own flesh and blood who were supposed to believe in me, thought I was only acting and lying about the pain.

               I felt so alone back then. No one would believe me, they would think I was crazy and a liar, also, they would just ignore me even if I vomited. Imagine a 15 year old in so much pain, vomiting her guts out with no one even believing that she was in pain. I even suggesting going to the doctor but they wouldn't listen to me! The fear of dying and being left alone was so great back then. Thankfully, my parents saw reason and let me have a checkup.

               I had my urine tested, my blood checked and lastly, I had an ultrasound of my whole abdomen. The first two turned out normal and my parents were continuously saying that they were right and we were just wasting money. But when we got to the ultra sound, there they found that I had a stone in my gall bladder. It was already quite big to be taken by water therapy and the only option I had was surgery. Unconsciously, tears streamed down my face. The fact that I didn't have cancer and that I was right, that I wasn't a crazy liar, was, for me, a great feeling. I mean who wouldn't be happy that she didn't have an illness that can kill her? Or that she proved that she was right all along? My parents were stunned back then. They weren't expecting it and they admitted, quite apologetically, that they were wrong and that they were sorry for not believing me.

               We spent the birth of Christ that year inside the hospital, waiting for my surgery. I don't know why, but during the hours of waiting to get in the operation room, I wasn't feeling scared or that my life was in potential danger because I would be cut up. My dad was the one crying and feeling scared for me. The only thought running through my mind that time was that after all of that, I would be able to watch more anime after surgery. Funny, I know. When I was put on the rolling bed and rolled to the operation room I was actually excited. What was wrong with me? Anyway, when we reached the room, the first thing I saw was the machine they were going to use to get the stone. It was like a video game in the arcades except this machine had clamps at the back of it, those like in the arcades also in which this time you put in a coin and try to get a stuffed toy. The doctors made me put on a mask and the next thing I know was that the last thing I could remember was thinking that the light above my head was too bright.

               I had to suffer one last pain after the surgery because when I woke up, I knew that I was cut open in small but many portions in my abdomen, probed inside by a machine and stitched close by a needle. The pain was saying it all through my body. That was the only time I cried calling out for my mom since I was a kid. All throughout the night I was drifting in and out of my sleep, each time I would be crying buckets of tears. After a day, I was allowed to go home by my doctor but I was put on rest for some weeks. In my mind, I was thinking, I sure am glad I didn't end up like the main character from Night world.