15- Sarah

"I Know Better Now"

A girl with onyx black hair wearing a cream colored blouse and a long brown checkered skirt was silently reading a thick Black book (though for her it was still thin).  Her blue ocean like eyes was like it was only looking around it but she was really reading it. Just then someone called her from outside the library.

“Sarah, teacher Amy wants to see you. Second floor, her room.” A girl with short black brownish hair said.

“Coming Kris.” Sarah closed her book with a snap and stood up. She checked out and borrowed the book.  She went down and went to her teacher in English.

After a while she went back up. Her teacher just wanted to tell her good job for her grade raised up to eight points. This didn’t matter much. She never put much thought in things such as grades. But her parents do.

When she reached the last step she heard voices in the lobby. It was her classmates.

“Stupid Sarah. “a boy said. Johnny.

“Why?” Kris asked.

“It’s as if she doesn’t like us.” Mary said.

“Yeah. She is always inside the library. ‘Reading’” Jane quoted.

“It’s not working though. She can’t even beat Mary.” Frank smirked.

“What in seven hells are you talking about?! She’s just there for all of you don’t-“but Kris was cut off by Sarah.

“It’s ok Kris.” Sarah showed herself and with a very cheerful smile. “I don’t take it by heart. But maybe they’re right. I’ll just go back to the class room.  I have to leave. Mom texted me and said I have to go home right now. Something about my relatives. Bye.” Sarah went away with a cheerful smile and got her things, fixed it quickly; left a note to the teacher’s table. Went to her adviser and the guidance councilor gave another letter and was permitted to go. She did all this with a smile but when she got to her house no one was there and a note was on the television.

Change of plans. I have to go to the dentist.

Stay here I’ll be back at night time.

Prepare dinner.

Mom.

Good. She’s alone. Her smile suddenly became a frown. She bit her bottom lip and let go of her bag. It dropped down the floor. She went up her room and lay down on her bed and just stared blankly on the ceiling. A crystal like water rolled down her cheek. As it reached the pillow, many more followed it. It turned into a sob.

Why can’t they tell why she was always in the library? Why can’t they look deeper into her? Why can’t they see that she feels out of place with them for they won’t notice her? And they blame her for not spending much time with them? That only book comforts her? Only Kris knows this all for they spend the most time together. She treats Kris like a best friend and yet she won’t treat her like one. She comforts her in her problems and helps her in things but still she isn’t her best friend? 

You might be wondering why this post is in the form of  a story. Well, this is because I wanted to inform you of what exactly happened that time. I'm Sarah. And yes, this event did happen to me. It was when I was still in elementary and having just transferred from one school, i didn't have many friends. I didn't give up, and because of this incident, now I know better. I can trust others too easily, and so, i better take care of whom I trust and love. 

14- A poem for my own soul

"ALONE"

Cold and Grey
By: Maria Vanessa V. Irineo
ABMA 123 (freshman)

I have never seen a cloud so grey

That all my feelings went away

It touched my heart, It touched my soul

But in the end, I cried in snow

It kissed my lips, It held my hand

It stepped on me, I sank in sand

I try to breathe, air burned my lungs

My ears are bleeding while you sung

Why did you make me believe

And then let me cry in grief

The once warm, bright sunny day

Is now turning cold and grey

Please tell me you at least meant the words

The words you said that made me soar

For I cannot fathom to think of all it fake

For there is so much hurt my heart can take

No, I'm not begging you to come back

I'm asking you for some slack

And yes, I'm telling you to say these words

To ease all of it out, your hurtful swords

I have to move on, find another sun

see what true love is, and have some fun

And I won't be able to do so with you

Tying me up, breaking me a new

Please set me free, I hate the cold

It pierces my skin, It hurts ten fold

I'll fly high in the sky

I'll leave you in the past behind

12- Summer Time!!!

                "My plans for the summer"

               Ever since I could remember, my summers have always been the same for me. I would be in front of my computer all day long, reading fanfictions, reading mangas, watching animes, then only get up to do chores, play with my sisters, eat and sleep. Then I would be repeating this, unless we would be having an outing. We usually have a number of them if my relatives from abroad come. But, lately, they lean on coming during Christmas season.

                As you may have guessed, I'm not very productive during the summers. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Summer time for me is like my reward time after all my school works. And reading fanfiction is like a safe haven for me. But this summer, I plan on taking a different route. one of the burdens of being the eldest among three daughters is that a lot of responsibility and guilt may rest on your shoulders. In college you will be able to realize this. Specially if you are dorming in the city while your parents stay in the province. This tend to open your eyes to a new story in which you are not the princess any more. Instead you are now the queen in training.

                It is in college that I felt my parents sacrifice so that I could still have a normal life apart from them while I study. It was here that I experienced days in which I wouldn't eat or drink anything except for water so at the very least my stomach would have a bit in it. It was here that I experienced home sickness cause knew I was missing on my little sister's first day in her school. It was here that I got sick but my mom won't be there to check on me every hour. It was here that I couldn't wake my dad by going on top of him because he wasn't in the room next to mine. It was in college that I wasn't able to talk about the whole day with my other sister after dinner. It was during this time, this school year, that I realized that I was still a little girl wanting her parents to be at her side, her sisters with her in the same room every night.

                College is where I experienced a whole week without sleep and my mom won't be there to force me into getting one. I wouldn't hear my dad's frantic worrying and my sisters' annoying chatter. I don't have anyone to bicker with here. All I do is study and work each day, with only reading as my sanctuary out of it. It was during this time that I realized the value of money and saw how my parents struggle to pay for our dues.

                Ever since then, I promised to help them any way I can. I shall get high marks for them.  And during this summer, I shall work part time in a place that will allow a 17 year old to work. If there won't be any, then I shall paint and sell my art works to gain money. Or even simply draw. I may also write for sites, or proof read articles. Anything to help me gain money and be productive.

                I shall do this to help my family in ways only the eldest daughter can. I loved my family before, but facing the training only helped me value them more. I am no longer a little princess, I was a queen in training. A future queen of her people to look up to and have the former rulers be proud of her. My sisters shall be my responsibility in the future, while my parents the proud teachers that put the crown on top of my head.

This summer, I shall continue my training alongside my royal family.

11 - A Cheesy night

I made dinner.

                I could still remember clearly the first time I was left alone in the house. It was both a scary and fun experience for me.

                My mom had a day shift that day in the hospital and dad had to work as usual. My sister wanted to play outside and our yaya went with her to gossip with others her age. I was in the second grade of elementary school and it was weird being alone in the house. I was wanted to finish my home work that time before dinner and so, decided not to play outside.

                We usually eat dinner at 6:00 pm since my family had the tradition of after six meal time so that by 8 in the evening we could sleep with a stomach not too full, not hungry. It was 5:30 when I felt my hunger. I was a kid! Work makes you hungry. Any ways, that was also the reason why I couldn't ignore my stomach. Yes that was it, not that I wanted to be distracted from work. Nope, not at all. What? FINE! yes, I also wanted the distraction. Again, I'm A kid! don't blame the person, blame the active energy of the young!

                I looked around, the only food we had was a left over rice from that afternoon, no meat to eat with it, and ChizWheez, but no bread. My stomach grumbled again and I decided to eat them. And yes, together. But I realized that if I eat it plain mixing the chizwhiz with the rice would make it like a spaghetti with chizwheez as the sauce and the rice as the pasta. It seemed not too appealing for me. That was when I remembered the fried rice I saw at the food court in the mall. It was golden, like it was cooked in chizwheez. I decided to try it and got the frying pan out, heated it and poured a spoonful of chizwheez in it, letting it be watery a bit. then I put in the rice and added two more spoonful of chizwheez. I mixed it, like frying normal fried rice, and tasted a bit. It tasted like chizwheez a bit too much. There was something missing. And so, I opened the refrigerator and saw a half used knor cube. I got it and got a mince of the cube, adding it to the fried rice. I mixed it a bit more in the fire and tasted it again. I was satisfied to realize it tasted good. Turning off the fire, I glanced at the clock and realized it was six and that my sister and our yaya just got back, with a cooked hotdog, bought outside. Perfect!

                Yaya panicked upon realizing what I have done. My sister, begged to try some of it. and I let her. She moaned and asked to have it as dinner. Yaya, tried it and admitted it tasted good. I smiled happily and we ate the chizwheez fried rice along with the hotdog for dinner that night.

                I realized that unintentionally, i made dinner for the first time during my first time being alone in the house. It was a fun experience, cooking and being free. From then on, ChizWheez fried rice was a traditional food for us twice every month.

10- The Bee Van

7. Describe your ride home. 

                Well, technically, I don't have a ride home, unless you consider the elevator of Asia Pacific College a ride home, since I live in the dormitory during school days. So, instead, I shall write about my ride home during my high school days.

                You see, even if when I was already in high school, my parents still didn't want me commuting from and from school, even if it was like only two jeepneys away. So, instead of riding the jeepney during school days back then, I ride the school service. The transport itself  was just a simple silver black van. Sometimes it would be the green van since the service owner had two service van. By the time I was a fourth year high schooler, the van was painted to be like a yellow school bus since it was a requirement for all service transport.

 

                The vans were air-conditioned and had its own players for songs. Though sometimes, the air-conditions would break down and we would have to suffer with the heat. And if it would be raining, we would have to just bear with the shower. The capacity of the van was like 15 persons but at times, we would have to make some space for like 25 persons in one journey. Other rimes it would be only 10 persons or less. each morning though it would just be right.

                I guess if I write about my service all through the time I was riding it, I would take up almost 20 pages so instead I would just talk about the time I had to take the last ride of 5:00 pm. I would reach my home at 7:00 pm.

                You see, my classes during third year were all up until 5:00 pm. I wasn't the only one who would go home during this time. other high school students taking the service would also go home at this time. Usually, the trips are divided into two, the Bayan side (the left side of the bridge) and the San Isidro side (the right side of the bridge). But during the last trip, we only use one van and those from the bayan side are then mixed with the San Isidro side. I'm from the San Isidro side. And usually, the driver sends the Bayan side home first. Now, I don't really have a problem with them being first. The problem is that the bayan during 5:00 pm is usually the time the roads are crowded with cars and other services from different schools. You can actually call this the rush hour of Batangas City. It lasts until 7:00 pm.

               

                Now, we had like 5 kids who had to get off in the Bayan side. Not much right? compared to those in the San Isidro side which was like 10 of us. The only problem here is that since it is a rush hour, like your car won't be able to move until every 15 minutes or so, add to it that the ones from bayan lived far from each other and all over the bayan itself, the time our service would be finished in sending them home and only start going to the way of our house would be 6:30 in the evening. It would be usually dark outside already.

                The irritating thing here would be if the driver would decide to save fuel by not turning the air conditioner of the car on. We would suffer from the intense heat and dark pollution of the outside world. The only consolation to this is that while in the traffic jam, we would be able to buy anything we want from the street vendors through our windows. That is if we have money to buy some.

                The time I would reach my house would be 7:30 pm. My family would've been done with dinner and I would be the only one to eat. My home works not yet done, I would stay up just to finish it. Then I would wake up the next day at 4:30 in the morning to prepare for school, waiting for the service to pick me and my sister up from there to go to school in a cramped van. The worst thing of all that this ride has; the music that will be playing. Come on, who plays old love songs in the radio in a van full of sleepy students that has to be alert for the day? They would be sleepier!

                Of course there would be something I love in this ride. It would be those I ride the service with. My service mates are fun to be with, the younger students and even the yayas of the kids. They were all nice. We joke around while we wait after school for the service to fetch us. We would play and sometimes just gossip. They were my friends. The pre-elems, though, were the cutest I admit. And the elementary students the smelliest while the high school students the chattiest.

I miss my ride home, but I sure don't miss the cramped van and the traffic jams.

9- ANGEL (poem)

I was 12 when you came to the world

You had small hands clutched tightly to mama's fingers.

When you opened your eyes you stared right at me unseeingly

For during that time you were just a born baby.

Angel (new born) with Joyce, Kirsten, Mama, Grace

I wanted to feed you, hold you in my arms

But mama scolded me said that I shouldn't

For you had a small problem above your tongue

You are struggling with a little hole that can cut your air.

When you cried, I couldn't give you food

I was scared of it coming out of your nose that father gave you

Milk pouring, dripping, filling and can drown you without being in waters.

During your naps, I kiss your chubby cheeks

Hold your small hands, sing you to sleep.

My mind then says "Your name suits you well.

You're a pure angel that can be that is fragile as can be"

I then ask God

Why did you give us a golden gift that you can take with a snap?

I wanted to hold he and keep her in my arms

But I couldn't do so without tearing you apart.

You've grown and now can talk

But words that come out of your mouth are hard to decipher

It's like the Morse code, only harder

I try my best to understand you, just like mother.

Now I'm away from you, I miss you so.

I wonder what you're doing, how was your day so far?

Are milks still coming out of your nose?

Are you and Kirsten getting along now?

Kirsten, Angel (3 yrs. old), Me

Now I tell you Don't

Don't get father mad, he's a lion.

Don't disobey mama, she knows best.

Don't fight with Kirsten, she's your best friend.

Don't skip school, listen to teacher Lalain.

Don't argue with other kids, that's just insane.

Always pray, don't forget our Lord.

He's the one who gave you to us, our little gold.

But most of all, don't you forget

I love you so much, my little ANGEL.

8- Roaming the mall alone

"Describe a day at the mall. "

          There is always something surprising about a person. Like how one secretly loves to cook but never in her life made a clue on it. Or like how one liked to sing in the shower even though she couldn't sing. Well, my own secret that no one knows of is that I liked roaming the mall by myself.

          I know, I know. Why would someone want to roam a big mall by themselves? Won't it be boring? Walking alone, having no one to talk to, to laugh with and joke around with. It seems lonely and tedious doing it alone. No one can comment about the things you would buy. No will talk to you.

          But the thing is, that's just it. No one will be able to talk to you and so, you are free to observe and look at the things you would like. No one will comment that they don't like the things you like. You won't be forced to wait in them nor will you be pressured to be waited on. You may take your own sweet time looking at things. You won't be distracted by others commenting about how they want this and that. You can just do what you want.

          Another thing that I like about it is the adventure of being alone. You might be wondering, what adventures are there in a mall, of all places? Well, first of, being alone you are more open to bad guys. You might think I'm crazy now. Why would one like that? Before I explain that let me continue on the list of adventures in the mall. Another adventure in the mall that can happen is that being alone, you can bump into anyone accidentally, be it someone you knew or someone totally new. In the end, it all comes down to me being a hopeless romantic.

          I mean, like those stories where one is in danger in a mall by robbers then suddenly she get saved by a guy and later they fall in love. Or if you bump into someone then later on you realize you guys are connected in some way. Seriously, roaming alone can have these perks. You just don't know if it will happen. But I like imagining about it as I walk down the mall.

          But I only go alone from time to time. In the end, even tough I like going to the mall alone, having friends with you is fun. Specially if it's those who are really close to you. But it won't hurt to have a day alone in the mall, right?